The most useful important thing you need to select a care home is a sense of smell. If you don’t happen to possess one, I recommend that you find someone who does.
I had to act quickly to find a home for my Dad. He was in hospital and every time I visited him, the senior nurse collared me to ask what my plans were, as they desperately needed the bed.
So I sat down with a map and a list of care homes provided by the local authority. My first reaction was surprise that there were so many within a short distance of my home. Then I started to visit them.
I shall never forget the first home on my list. From the outside, it looked like a conventional family home. Then I saw, hidden from the road, a large 70s flat roofed extension, like a temporary office building. It looked ready for demolition. Inside was worse. A dozen elderly people in varying stages of decay sat facing each other in a long, narrow room. The furniture – a clutter of dreadful, wing back armchairs - looked like it had been salvaged from a skip. Some of the residents were remarkably cheerful and that depressed me even more; the ability of their generation to put up with anything. It was like stepping into a documentary about Eastern Europe in the communist era. I asked to see the bathroom and nearly gagged at the smell of blocked drains. For this they wanted £650 per week!
Then I visited some other nearby homes that although modern and clean, were eye-wateringly expensive. I went back to my list and adjusted my compasses to look at care homes within a 5 mile radius from my home. This added a large number of new options. When I got on the phone, the list quickly reduced to a handful. Some were nursing homes rather than care homes, some were single sex or only took referrals through a charitable trust. More than one subjected me over the phone to an interrogation about my Dad’s level of confusion, because they were reluctant to accept any new residents with any dementia problems, due to the increased burden of care. I had visions of Dad being kicked out for becoming too needy. At the other extreme, one very upmarket home referred me to their ‘business development manager’, who continued to hassle me with phone calls for three months after.
I quickly developed a preference for larger homes run by trusts with a strong emphasis on values, rather than smaller, private homes or those run on a purely commercial basis.
I visited several more homes, often taking my daughter with me, whose sense of smell is acute. In almost every home, there would be some pathetic lady who was convinced that I was her son and some were very insistent in their delusion.
In the end, I selected one of the nearby homes, whose charges I initially thought were eye-watering. The home is quite large – around 60 beds, but they are organised into smaller units, with separate lounge and dining facilities, so there is still a local feel on each floor. It may not be to everyone’s taste, but I am convinced that you need scale to get a balance of value for money with an acceptable standard of care.
Six months on, I remain happy with my choice and the costs, although high, no longer seems like too bad value for money.
You can read in more detail about my experiences on my blog www.declineandfalls.com
Comments